Like a Fish Pulled from Water, Yearning Breeds Suffering.
Buddhist Insight into the Nature of Longing and Peace
Yearning. We’ve all felt it. That ache for something—or someone—we don’t have. That belief that just one more thing will finally complete us. But Buddhist wisdom shows us something quite different: that this yearning, this subtle but persistent longing, is not the path to peace—it’s the very root of our suffering.
The Buddha taught that attachment leads to dukkha, the Pali word often translated as “suffering” or “unsatisfactoriness.” One of the most powerful metaphors from Buddhist scripture compares a person caught in longing to a fish pulled from water—squirming, gasping, desperate for relief. Just as the fish cannot survive outside its natural element, we lose our inner balance when we are pulled from the present moment by yearning.
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The Nature of Yearning
Yearning often masquerades as hope, ambition, or desire for connection. It can be romanticized, even praised. But in the Buddhist path, it is examined closely—not to condemn wanting, but to understand its effects.
When we yearn, we reject the present in favor of an imagined future. We become entangled in “if only” thinking:
- If only I had a better job…
- If only they loved me back…
- If only I were more successful…
These thoughts are like hooks, pulling us away from presence and clarity. And as we grasp for what’s not here, we suffer—not because we are weak or flawed—but because we’re looking for wholeness in something inherently unstable.
What the Fish Teaches Us
The image of the fish is more than poetic—it’s a call to awaken.
A fish belongs in water. When it’s pulled out, no matter how beautiful the world above the surface may be, it suffers. It flails and gasps because its very life depends on being immersed in its natural element.
Likewise, our well-being depends on staying rooted in the now, in our natural state of awareness and acceptance. When we’re yanked into fantasies, regrets, or unmet desires, we lose our center. We become reactive, anxious, and even desperate. Yearning is not just emotional discomfort—it’s spiritual displacement.
Awareness: The Path Back to Stillness
So what can we do? The answer is not to shame ourselves for wanting, but to bring gentle awareness to the process.
Mindfulness, or sati, is the tool that allows us to notice yearning as it arises. With practice, we can catch the tug of longing before it drags us out of our peaceful waters.
Try this simple reflection when you notice yearning:
- Pause – Acknowledge the feeling without judgment.
- Name it – “This is yearning.”
- Investigate it – What story is your mind telling you?
- Breathe – Let the wave pass. Return to now.
This practice won’t eliminate all wanting overnight—but it shifts your relationship with it. You begin to recognize that peace was never waiting at the end of that longing—it was quietly present all along.
A Softer Way to Be
The Buddha wasn’t against having needs or enjoying life. But he taught us to distinguish between skillful desires—those aligned with well-being—and unskillful yearning, which traps us in cycles of dissatisfaction.
By becoming more aware, we can soften the grip of yearning. We begin to live more freely, love more openly, and suffer less. We stop chasing wholeness and start experiencing it.
So the next time you feel yourself pulled by longing, remember the fish. Ask yourself: Am I still in my water, or have I been pulled out by a thought I mistook for truth?
If this reflection resonated with you, take a moment to watch the short video above. It offers a gentle, 60-second reminder of this timeless truth. May it help you return to the stillness already within you.
P.S. If this reflection helped bring you even a moment of peace, consider subscribing to YourWisdomVault on YouTube for more weekly insights rooted in timeless Buddhist teachings. 🌱
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